Want to know the two biggest secrets about professional networking? First, it’s not just about making connections – it’s about keeping them alive and relevant. Second, even introverts can master it! Let me prove both points with a story from my journey from Milwaukee to France.
Picture this: I landed my first job in France through networking during my previous sales job. I was visiting an HR Director to sell training services, we really hit it off, and she dropped that magical line: “If you’re ever on the market, let me know!” Well, guess what? I did, and it worked! But that’s only half the story – the real lesson came next.
Fast forward to my first week at this fancy international company, own office and everything (pinch me!). Now, here’s where it gets interesting. In French companies, there’s this tradition: when it’s your first week, YOU bring in breakfast – you know, croissants and all that good stuff. I did my homework, got everything ready to make that perfect first impression… and then completely forgot about those croissants for THREE WHOLE DAYS! Let’s just say neither the croissants nor my reputation were exactly fresh by then! 😅
But the truth is – that croissant catastrophe taught me something BIG about networking: you’ve got to keep it fresh like a spring lamb jumping in new flowers (yes, I just wrote that, and I’m sticking to it!). Because guess what? After I left that job, one of those connections helped me settle in Strasbourg!
I’ll be honest – I’m naturally the lazy one when it comes to networking, but I’ve learned my way from mud to flowers, especially as technology and AI reshape how we connect. Here’s what actually works, especially if you’re shy like I was (okay, still am sometimes!).
My Top Tips for Nervous Networkers (From One Introvert to Another)
- Nobody’s Thinking About You (And That’s Great!)
The first time I walked solo into a conference, I was convinced everyone was staring at me. Brace yourself: they weren’t! Everyone’s too busy worrying about themselves to notice your nervous shuffle. Once this clicked for me, it felt like dropping a backpack full of books. Freedom!
- Start with Your Circle (Yes, They Actually Count!)
I used to think friends and family weren’t “real” networking – wrong! Think about it: who shares your interests? Who hangs out in the same spaces? Who knows and trusts you?
These people are goldmines of connections. Plus, you’re already comfortable with them, which makes practicing your networking muscles so much easier.
- Your Intro Is Like a Good Recipe
Here’s a trick I learned after countless awkward moments: prepare a short, sweet intro that’s actually interesting. Instead of the boring “I’m a recruiter,” I started asking things like: “Ever notice how some people never get called for interviews even with perfect CVs?
That’s what I help fix!” See the difference?
- Questions Are Your Best Friends
Speaking of questions – they’re like magic keys that open doors when you’re too terrified to talk about yourself. I learned this from watching a super-skilled salesperson who asked TONS of questions but made it feel natural and caring. Start simple: “How’s the conference going?” or “What brought you here today?”
Keeping Your Network Fresh (No More Stale Croissants!)
Let me share something I learned the hard way: maintaining your network is like tending a garden. You can’t just plant the seeds (make connections) and disappear! Au revoir, see you never!? NEVER!! Here’s my tried-and-true Tanja maintenance strategy that works even for us introverts and bilingual:
The 3-3-3 Rule I Stick to
I divide my contacts into three circles and connect with them in different ways:
- Inner Circle (Monthly Touch): These are my key professional relationships
- Send them relevant articles or industry updates
- Comment meaningfully on their LinkedIn posts
- Schedule quarterly virtual coffee chats
- Share their wins and achievements
2. Middle Circle (Quarterly Check-ins): My broader professional network
- Like and engage with their social media updates
- Send holiday greetings with a personal note
- Share industry events they might be interested in
- Connect them with others when opportunities arise
3. Outer Circle (Bi-annual Maintenance): My extended network
- Update them on major career moves
- Engage with their significant professional announcements
- Keep them in my newsletter loop
My Digital-Traditional Balance Strategy
Here’s what actually works in my hybrid world:
- Online Maintenance (The Easy Part):
- Use LinkedIn’s “Notifications” tab to spot promotion announcements and work anniversaries – perfect excuse to reach out & touch someone!
- Set up Google Alerts for your key contacts’ companies
- Create a simple spreadsheet (yes, I actually do this!) to track when you last connected with important contacts
- Share their content with thoughtful comments (not just “Great post!”)
- Real-World Touches (The Part That Really Matters):
- Schedule “keeping in touch” coffee dates every month (I block Fridays for this)
- Attend at least one industry event per quarter
- Organize small group lunches with people from different parts of my network
- Remember personal details – did they mention a big project? Ask about it next time!
My Favorite Lazy-Effort, High-Impact Maintenance Tricks
- The Article Share: When you read something interesting, immediately think “Who in my network would love this?” and share it with a personal note
- The Birthday Calendar: LinkedIn tells you about birthdays – use them! But make it personal
- The Connection Maker: When you spot two people in your network who should know each other, make the intro
- The Quick Voice Note: Instead of a text, send a 30-second voice or video message (it feels more personal and takes less time than typing!)
The “Don’t Be a Ghost” Rule
Remember my croissant story? Well, here’s another confession: I once ghosted my network for six months when I got busy with a new job. Big mistake. Huge. Now I follow these rules:
And remember this: people are interested in people! Even with all our digital shortcuts, nothing beats a real connection. So next time you recognize a potential connection, channel your inner French host and extend that invitation (just maybe skip the three-day-old croissants 😉).
- Never go dark for more than a month
- If you’ve been quiet, own it when you reach out (“I know it’s been a while…”)
- Keep a “networking inbox” where you save interesting articles/updates to share
- Set monthly calendar reminders for network maintenance
- Always follow up after someone helps you – share how their advice worked out!
A Final Note on Network Maintenance in the AI Era
With AI and digital tools everywhere now, it’s tempting to automate everything. But here’s what I’ve learned: use technology to remind you to connect, but keep the connection itself human. Use AI tools to:
- Draft initial messages (but personalize them!)
- Track your networking contacts
- Set reminders for follow-ups
- Find relevant content to share
But always, always add your personal touch. Because at the end of the day, real relationships are like those fresh morning croissants – they need to be handled with care, served warm, and shared with genuine enthusiasm.
Here’s my challenge to you: Open your professional contacts right now. Pick THREE people you haven’t talked to in a while. Send each one a different type of message:
- Share an interesting article
- Congratulate them on a recent achievement
- Simply ask how they’re doing and mention something specific you remember from your last conversation
Remember: Networks, like croissants, are best when fresh and handled with care!
À votre réussite! (That’s “to your success” for my fellow US Americans!) 🥐
P.S. These days, I not only nail the fresh croissant timing but also keep my network as warm as those perfectly baked pastries! 😉
P.S. These days, I totally nail the fresh croissant timing. Growth, people. It’s all about growth!
Wanna chat about it? Let’s schedule our virtual coffee!
